On building habits

Based on who you actually are and what you actually like.

I want to get up earlier, I want to read and meditate and go outside and respond to all my messages and cook and dry brush my skin — such goes that list of desires that will make you better or healthier.

James Clear (he’s everywhere) talks about how to create lasting habits. He recommends you focus on the type of person you wish to become rather than the outcome or goal. As in, do you want to write a book or do you want to be a writer? Do you want to land on a popular Spotify playlist, or do you want to release music that feels good to you? Focus on the latter to form your habits, and the former will come (if it’s meant to).

Is that you though?

And, if we try to create habits based on the type of person we think we want to be but actually are simply not — the habit will fall away. Or, making it stick will require a lot of force and grind. If our desired habits come from outside of ourselves, or a place of ‘should’, they probably will not last.

If the habit isn’t sticking, maybe it’s not supposed to. Maybe you’re supposed to try something else. Maybe you should stop trying to read a chapter or run a mile because your energy would rather do something more satisfying. If the thought of doing it dredges up dread, but skipping makes you feel guilty, quit!

What if the things that you already like to do are what you’re supposed to be practicing?

Habits based on who you really are and what you really want might actually last. Your interests, passions, and the things that come naturally to you are there because they are supposed to be. All you have to do is know what they are and respect yourself enough to commit to them.

One of my friends is a brilliant artist, singer, and performer. Because she honors what she is (extremely) good at and is dedicated to the habits that bring her success, she allows her talent to grow, along with her life satisfaction.

Honoring our innate desires and interests (which are often so buried beneath conditioning) lets us live more aligned lives.

What if you’re good at the things you are good at, because you are supposed to do them?

May we strengthen the muscle of honoring the things that we like or want to do!

Habits change with you.

At the beginning of college I learned about god and neuroplasticity. My newfound self earnestly sought meaning in everything and tried a lot of habits on. I did all kinds of meditations, rode my bike to hot yoga classes 4x a week, studied philosophy and read every self-development book I heard of.

I don’t have a gratitude journal or meditate daily anymore, but the part of me that is endlessly curious about spirituality and consciousness continues to guide my habits based on what I’m interested in. That part of me is still committed to learning and growing my awareness and honoring what feels most true and right. Sometimes this means I practice yoga twice a day and sometimes I don’t roll out my mat for months.

Depending on the seasons and the circumstances, things will ebb and flow — habits will change and are supposed to. Allowing your natural tendencies and interests to show you the truth of ‘who you are / what you want’ can help you build habits that will grow right along with you.

Really hoping that my current habit of protein before caffeine will stick because I just feel better if eggs come before coffee.

Onward with clear habits!

(Based on the person you already are, deep inside, that may be a little smothered by some extra layers of conditioning).

xx, maggie