Bounty, beauty, gloom and despair.

There they all are!

Sometimes it’s easier to remember that there is a sun when it is shining in the sky. And, it can be harder to remember that there is a sun when there are only storms.

When we are busy living through something dark, it can be easy to forget that sunny goodness still exists. So we must practice seeing the goodness, always, every day, so that when things really fall apart, we have a foundation of gratitude and appreciation to stand on. 

Karen Walrond speaks with Brené and Glennon (we are first-name friends) about how important it is to choose to look at what is beautiful even during turmoil. She describes leadership and activism as an ebb and flow kind of cycle: you must retreat to gather energy before moving out to use and build and guide with it. You cannot spend all of your time working and focusing on what needs to be fixed — you have to pause and rest and look at what is right.

This framework applies to all of life. The seasons, the plants, and the moon all cycle through phases of growth and death. Our moods and interests and relational dynamics will all ebb and flow. Remembering that the difficult or barren periods will eventually pass makes them easier (and perhaps more enjoyable) to bear. 

This universe is multifaceted, there is good and also bad. Seeing only the bad is inherently disrespectful to the earth who lovingly provides us with so much bounty and beauty. Pretending that everything is good is toxic spiritual bypassing and won’t get us anywhere.

How are you?

Regardless of whether your personal life is dark and scary or bright and beautiful right now — it deserves to be authentically acknowledged and expressed.

Because I love to bring the micro into the macro and believe that our daily interactions have a profound impact on the world around us — can we answer the question ‘how are you’ with more honesty?

When we are actually honest about what we are experiencing — no matter if it’s awful and heartbreaking or celebratory and expansive — it frees others to be more honest as well (even if only within themselves). Actual honesty sets free shame that is hiding beneath your success or failure, your joy or fear. There is a way to hold what is true in the greater world and what is true in your life all at once.

Naming when you are thriving and when you are struggling (and everything in between) builds connection and intimacy wherever you go.

How are you, really?

You don’t have to jump into forced positivity “everything is good and fiiiine, life is great!!” 

And, you don’t have to fall into the tendency to veer negative and say something like ‘well, you know how could anyone be doing “ok” these days’ or ‘can’t wait for this day/month/year to be over, ha’.

These are platitudes and have a place, you don’t have to get ~into it~ with everyone you meet. Sometimes you just have to say ‘I’m good’ because it is easier or not worth your time or you don’t like strangers.

If we don’t have a place to share the truth of our experience, whatever it is might get stuck or fester. Or, we might miss out on feeling the depth of the beauty and bounty that is right here in front of us.

Don’t shame yourself for feeling joy because there are other people in despair. Don’t shame yourself when you are having a hard time because other people ‘have it all together’ and you must just suck.

You can talk about how you are having an actually difficult time. You don't have to pretend to be having a swell life when you’re crying yourself to sleep every night. You can also share that you’re *actually* doing really well, that you’ve made awesome changes and are so in love with this or that. This doesn’t mean you don’t see the pain and heartache and the things that *need* to change.

Because you are a human, you deserve to feel pleasure and joy and ease. When it comes, feel it!

Because you are a human, you will inevitably feel anguish and misery. When it comes, let it move!

xx, maggie