Complacency and Fear of Uncertainty
The contentedness of good enough prevents growth and denies our potential.
One of my greatest fears is complacency: I am terrified of becoming content with a lackluster, predictable life that falls short of what I’m capable of. A complacent life, to me, indicates that it’s good enough to keep you from making drastic changes, but does not honor your life’s potential. A complacent life is not one that prioritizes growth: it keeps you smiling placidly, continuing on with what’s been working, while not daring to admit you want something more or different.
More specifically, complacency is self-satisfaction paired with a lack of critical awareness about your life; a complacent, uncritical attitude excuses you from doing anything different, because you’ve already convinced yourself that “this” is what you want. Complacency reassures you that you’re doing fine, and that your life is good enough, while in actuality, you may be letting yourself down, falling short of your potential. While living with a sense of “good enough”—instead of, say, “everything is terrible”—is generally a positive thing, accepting the mediocre (or even decidedly not good) circumstances of your life as such subsequently prevents you from growing. You don’t have to do anything to change, if you believe that the aspects of your life you’re dissatisfied with are actually satisfying. You’re off the hook from taking risks toward more fulfillment.
As I’m coming to understand it, complacency usually masks either the fear of failure or the fear of uncertainty. It is what keeps you bored at your job, day after day: instead of changing something, or risking failure, you just keep going because it’s what you’re used to. It’s “easier” to keep plodding along and continuing to be relatively successful at it than it is to willingly step into something more unknown.
My brother, who has spent time in AA, describes complacency as akin to being a “dry drunk;” a term referencing a person who still has addictive behavioral patterns but no longer drinks alcohol. The dry drunk can excuse their shitty behavior more easily, citing their technical sobriety, but they still likely aren’t achieving real satisfaction. They are complacent, denying themselves change.
It often takes something devastating or life-shattering to wake us up from the humdrum of a complacent life. Cue the hundreds of memoir authors detailing how they woke up around age 45 and realized they haven’t been living the lives they want. Suddenly, it becomes important for them to upend their lives, now, and reclaim their dreams and desires.
What if it didn’t have to be like that? What if we were more able to recognize complacency when it crops up, and deal with it then? What if we don’t have to wait another decade to realize that we’ve been unhappy with XYZ for the last ten years?
It might seem easier to settle for being contented by a good enough existence instead of pushing ourselves toward more fulfillment. But this means we’re living with an insidious kind of fear that has more power over us than we do over it. We’ll remain terrified with what the unknown might bring us, if we don’t dare to step off the ledge of good enough. We’ll remain scared of the uncertain terrain that stretches before us, if we’re too afraid that we’re not going to be able to handle it.
What if we are able to handle it?
To be completely honest, I had begun to feel somewhat complacent with this newsletter for the few weeks before starting my new advice column (ask me a question here!) I wasn’t having many new ideas, I’d stopped writing daily as I’d been doing, and I felt lackluster, tired. But, I was able to excuse it. It’s fine, I told myself. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, since consistency is the most important piece.
While consistency is one of the most important pieces for success, so is innovation and novelty. So is risk. So is change. Hence, why I decided to take the risk to try something new and see where it will take me.
Yes, it’s scary to choose change instead of continuing on the same comfortable, predictable route. We don’t know what will happen. And, as we also all know, change is inevitable regardless of what we do. We never really can know what’s around the corner. But, we’ll be more prepared to face the unexpected challenges of life if we increase our capacity for enduring challenge and uncertainty voluntarily, of our own accord. If we know we can handle change and uncertainty, we won’t fear it: that’s empowering.
If you feel complacent in any area of your life—that’s great. You’re aware of it, which is the first step in dealing with it. Turn a critical eye to your life, and assess what you’re missing out on by continuing to remain where you are. You can ask, now, whether you’re content with being complacent and denying yourself growth, or whether you want to take a risk and see what happens. You know what that means for you. It’s up to you to say yes to growing instead of passively waiting for something to change and hoping you’ll be ready for it. Don’t let the fear of failure or the fear of uncertainty stop you.
Take more chances on yourself,
Maggie
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