Without expectation
My weekend was full of people and sweet conversations and beautiful moments, and at multiple points I felt the swelling of the awareness that it was all going to end. Regardless of it being pleasant or painful, every experience is transitory, and will not, cannot, does not last.
The Zen beginner’s mind, which rests on non-attachment, involves seeing everything with openness and fresh eyes — like it’s totally new (because it is). Michael Singer says this about it, that ‘if you are not expecting anything in particular from a situation, and then something special happens, it can touch you really deeply.’ Living without specific expectations allows you to truly experience the depth of whatever each moment has for you.
Divine detachment
I think of divine detachment as the practice of accepting things exactly as they are without clinging to or resisting them. It’s a state of utter surrender and appreciation, and requires faith.
If it’s like this now, and it’s hard, you can trust that it will get better. If it’s like this now and it’s so good that you don’t want to let go — you can trust that if you do let go, there is even more bounty and beauty coming.
Ram Dass talks a lot about non-attachment, how if we are wedded to a future plan, when that future moment arrives to the present, we ruin or bypass it by gripping to what we thought it was ‘supposed’ to be. Often we are so absorbed in our narrative about how we want things to either be different or stay the same, that we miss out on actually experiencing the potential of what is here now.
If you’re clinging to or resisting the experience, you’re not experiencing it. Then it might get stuck inside and cause problems later, or your memories of what was really special are warped by longing for something that is gone or frustration that things are now different.
You don’t have to worry about holding onto this sweet thing, because there is more sweetness coming. You don’t have to resist feeling the challenging parts, because if you let them through, they will transform.
For the sake of the moment
So if all things are indeed going to end and we cannot recreate something that has already happened, shouldn’t we practice living and appreciating every new moment for the sake of it?
Isn’t that kind of all there is to do?
If we detach from specific outcomes but approach life from a place of intention and curiosity, then we are bound to get more out of each experience that comes our way. And then, we end up attracting more of what we want to experience and can more easily let go of what we thought we wanted, because we trust that more goodness is right around the corner.
See what happens next!
xx, maggie
I LOVE THIS and I love your brain, Maggie!