The ugly parts
The process of self-growth and expansion does not only involve ecstatic epiphanies and exciting new chapters. It also entails a deep uncomfortable look at the dreadful places inside of you, and a strong commitment to letting them go.
The things you are most afraid of looking at within you are the most important to look at, because they are what hurts you (and others) the most. Things that hurt you make you feel bad, but you can get so used to feeling ‘bad’ that ‘bad’ just feels normal.
Luckily, with some attention to the places that hurt, ‘normal’ can begin to feel better and better.
So become more aware of the awful things you say and the ugly ways you behave. Notice when you are thinking judgmental thoughts, blaming others for your own problems or trying to manipulate their feelings. These spots inside of you are what most inhibit your growth. Pay attention to where they come from — it’s probably fear or shame.
It may temporarily be painful and rather alarming to see how often these disturbing thoughts and behaviors are running the show of your life. The point is not to make yourself feel guilty about the nasty parts of your current personality, the point is to see that you are worthy and deserving to be free of these parts.
Nothing will ever negate the deepest most intrinsically loving and true part of you — that part will always be there underneath. You can get closer and closer to living from this place, more of the time, by letting go of the old habits and thoughts that you once needed to feel safe and loved, connected and accepted.
You don’t have to continue to be the way you have been. This moment can be where you choose to begin to let go and change. As Louise Hay says, the point of power is always in the present moment. You are never stuck. This is where change takes place, right here and right now in our minds.”
As soon as you notice the places inside that you don’t like or are holding you back, you will see them come up again and again and again in your daily life. Be patient. You will have to let go again and again and again, and maybe take some hardcore action as well.
Go for the low-hanging fruit
The big obstacles — the aforementioned ugliest parts — that are blocking you from your more free self may be hard to access right away. That’s ok, no need to rush or force anything.
Michael Singer tells us that we don’t actually need to focus on the big stuff first — we can focus on the low-hanging fruit. By dealing with the little disturbances that crop up in daily life, we can teach ourselves how to let go and create lasting positive changes that will later support the dissolving of deeper patterns.
Every day, begin to release any resistance you have toward the ‘little’ things that upset your energy. Traffic, a random comment, the unfriendly person you came across, or the weather are good examples. As told in Living Untethered,“The way to know that you are working with low-hanging fruit is that the situation is resolved simply by letting go inside. There is nothing else to do about it. You were the only problem, and once you let go of creating the problem, the problem is solved.”
Let go of the things you do not have any control over but make you feel a lot of something. Pick off the low-hanging fruit.
This will make it easier later to release the heavier chunks of resentment and shame, the manipulative tendencies that no longer serve you, and the thoughts that are so absolutely horrifying you would be mortified to speak them out loud.
Your inner being does not want to hold onto the things that are hurting you. Your body knows how to let go, and is always trying to let go of things that are disturbing your inner world. Letting go of the low-hanging fruit allows you to release other old emotions stuck inside.
Start in this moment by letting go of the anger that it isn’t sunny or that you spilled sauce on your shirt. That anger is not useful to you, except perhaps to provide a necessary release for other deeper things. Don’t make up a story about it — it isn’t about the rain or the spilled sauce. It’s deeper, and it came up to be released. Let it go. Get it out. Don’t let it take up space for longer than it needs to.
You can really let go of those ugly things inside.
The ‘little things’ are where you can practice getting good at letting go.
Then, when it comes time to do the heavy lifting and take out the rotting garbage, you will do it with more ease. With more trust that wow, when I take out the trash it can actually be gone.
And if it stacks up again, you take it out again, because that is all there is to do.
No worries.
xx, maggie
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