Lately, these are some words and phrases that feel soft and true to me.
Breathe and see what happens
One of my favorite sayings is ‘breathe and see what happens.’ (Ra Uru Hu). It might sound superficial or passive at first glance but ~as always~ there is depth and more meaning.
To me, this phrase is a prayer of trust. It’s a hey, it’s gonna work out, just keep breathing and being here. It’s a reminder that I can trust myself, that I can trust my body, that I can trust life to take me where I need to go. This is how I want to live: with awareness, with presence, with trust.
Really, aren’t we all just breathing and seeing what happens next? I mean to some extent, you can guide the ship and direct where you’re going and who you’re with. You can be intentional about what you’re breathing more energy into and pivot as many times along the way as you need to.
Ultimately, though, you’re not in control of nature or other people, and being overly attached to feelings, plans, or specific outcomes will rob you of the beauty of what is true in the present moment.
The Paradox of Planning for the Future
Ram Dass, a spiritual teacher I love, talks about the “paradox of planning for the future.” (for context, Ram Dass is the ‘be here now’ guy who did a bunch of psilocybin and wrote the beautiful book called Be Here Now that is full of trippy & true wisdom).
Essentially, Ram Dass describes that as much as you plan and prepare for something in the future (a talk, a party, a test, a conversation, etc), you really cannot know what the present moment will look and feel like when the time you planned for arrives.
Here are some of his words:
“Since the planning for that future situation is missing the existential components that will exist in that situation, you are planning in the absence of all the data.”
“What will happen is that when I get there, if I’m so wedded to the plan I had made then, I will do violence to what the existential moment is in order to impose my plan at that time.”
“So being here now is the best preparation for when you are there then or when there then is here now.”
(I mean, this last quote is so freaking delightful. I can feel Ram Dass laughing as he said it.)
When you’re living with awareness, you can be more intentional about the jobs/people/plans you’re saying yes to. Agency is great. You can plan all you want, you can be incredibly specific about what you want to have happen in your life — and also, at some point you must surrender to the unfolding. Breathe and see what happens.
I don’t have to know until I’m supposed to know.
A perpetual yes girl? Not I! More likely to say “I don’t know! or Maybe” which is infuriating to many, I get it. (but once I know it’s a yes, it’s a yes & my whole body can get on board.)
I think that culturally there has been a pressure to know things immediately — to know the answers to “how do you feel about that” or “what do you want to do” or “do you want to do this or that.” To give an immediate answer about a job, to respond in the heat of the moment, to ‘just do it’, etc.
I’m learning that it takes time to know things and that nothing can be rushed before it is time. Not everything is urgent or immediate. I think waiting and patience require bravery, which require self-awareness.
My current go-to mantra is “I don’t have to know until I’m supposed to know.”
That’s it! I don’t have to know what to do until I’m supposed to know. I’ll figure it out when the time is right. If I don’t know what to do yet, I can wait until I do. It’s worked every time so far. (I got this line from Courtney Rousseau, a human design guide).
Here, again, we see the essential element of surrender and trust. In order to believe this, I don’t have to know until I’m supposed to know, you’ll have to surrender to an unknown timeline, and to trusting that the knowing will come.
The thing to text, the opportunity to say yes or no to, the plan you don’t know about yet, the person you have a little (or big and heavy) crush on — the knowing about what to do/say will come. You don’t have to try and figure everything out right now, because you literally cannot figure everything out right now. The awareness will come, the time will arrive, your body will tell you. Things will shake out and be ok.
Now when I notice that I feel rushed or panicky or really nervous about declaring or committing to something, it’s because I just don’t know yet. The panicky/anxious feeling has become a sign for me to wait. To wait some more. To send a placeholder message if needed (I love a ‘let me get back to you’).
I also know that not everyone operates this way, we’re all differentiated beings and that’s what makes this world so interesting.
Another similar phrase I love to keep nearby:
If and when something is aligned for you, you’ll do it.
And if it doesn’t, you can trust that there are other reasons and factors at play that you don’t know about and that if things could have been different, they would have been different.
There’s a difference between knowing you’re going to do something and being nervous or scared about it (quitting, breaking up) because “what will they say! what will happen!” and there is being unsure about what you want/need to do. Wait for clarity, and also, difficult things are difficult and sometimes you might hurt some people when you’re acting in your truth.
Surrender
You can plan and be intentional about your life, and also you have to surrender to greater forces. if you trust yourself and your body to do the best they can, it’ll make things a whole lot easier.
Breathe and see what happens. You don’t have to know until you’re supposed to know. If and when something is aligned for you, you’ll do it. There is a magical flow to life that you can tap into.
surrender. Let go. Trust.
And the way to do this is just, to do it.
try contemplating the belief that you can trust yourself. trust that you’ll be able to figure it out, that you’ll know what to say and do in the moment and that if you don’t know what to say or do and it’s awkward and weird and scary for a moment, that’s actually ok. and you can trust that it will be ok afterwards.
as always take what you like, leave the rest. thanks for reading :)
xx maggie
I love this entry. I think you remind us well the dance between acting with confidence and practicing humility. Surrender indeed. Thank you Maggie