The Power of Introspection
Self-awareness vs. self-knowledge vs. self-analysis—oh my!
Self-Awareness vs. Self-Knowledge
I started going back to therapy over the weekend. To my surprise, it felt vulnerable and extremely humbling. I talk a big talk about emotional and mental health, and consider myself “very” open and self-aware, but my ego gets in the way of my growth. When it comes to it, it’s really hard to reach out for an additional kind of support.
In typical extremist fashion, I went from being a weekly therapy goer a couple of years ago to entirely rejecting the notion that I *needed* therapy. I’m fine and functioning, and even when I’m not fine, I’m still functioning—no need for a therapist, right, and what a headache to find one you mesh well with. I also know that sometimes, continuing to go to therapy after making great progress can actually hinder you from experiencing further progress: there is a time to go to therapy, and a time to stop going. And, as it turns out, there may also be times to start going again.
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In part, I’ve resisted returning to therapy because of my inflated “self-aware” ego. I think I’m so self-aware, and am legitimately good at observing my behavior, feelings, and thoughts. I practice yoga, I know how to meditate, I write my thoughts down all the time—I know myself, I like to think. But there is a difference between self-awareness and self-knowledge: being aware of what you’re doing does not necessarily mean you know yourself. Self-awareness is about what you do/think/say, and self-knowledge is about understanding who you are. Psychologist researchers typically don’t consider self-awareness a destination, but rather an avenue toward self-knowledge.
Here’s a better definition of self-knowledge from this article by Dr. Christina Wilson:
Self-knowledge in psychology is “actual genuine information one possesses about oneself” (Morin & Racy, 2021). This includes information about our emotional state, personality traits, relationships, behavioral patterns, opinions, beliefs, values, needs, goals, preferences, and social identity (Morin & Racy, 2021).1
In other words—self-knowledge is what you know about yourself. Not about what you’re doing, but who you are, including how you change and grow. Self-awareness, on the other hand, is merely the process of watching your thoughts, actions, and feelings in a nonjudgmental way. This process can lead you to self-knowledge; it can reveal to you where you’re falling short and whether you are moving toward fulfilling what you really want. With greater self-knowledge comes a greater ability to make decisions in congruence with your true goals and aspirations, as well as an understanding of what your limits are. Self-knowledge is the ability to recognize that the incessant anxiety you’re experiencing is preventing you from moving forward in the ways that matter to you, and that you might want to try going to a therapist again.
Self-Awareness vs. Self-Analysis
To throw one more term in here: many people fall into the trap of conflating self-awareness with self-analysis; i.e., desperately wanting to understand why you’re doing what you’re doing; why you are who you are. Believing that there is a knowable reason behind everything you’re doing can fuel obsessive self-analysis, which is often charged with judgment, blame, and shame.
The truth is, “Why?” rarely has a good answer; you’re not likely to get a tidy one-liner when you inquire within about why. Moreover, the practice of self-analysis is usually done in a tense, judgmental sort of way, which we know gets us somewhere worse, fast. Trying to figure out why is an endeavor that usually leads to disappointment and confusion, unless it is tempered by a self-awareness that remains non-reactive and non-judgmental. The alternative to obsessing about why, it seems, is to focus more on increasing your awareness about who you are, and accepting who you’re discovering.
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It takes self-awareness and self-knowledge to see where you’re still letting your fickle mind or fragile ego get in the way of your growth. It takes humility to realize you don’t have it all figured out, and it takes self-love to take seriously enough the things you want for your future; the things that really matter to you. All of these things are important in leading continuously expansive, fulfilling lives.
In an attempt to be less extreme, I’m not entirely giving up trying to figure myself out. Self-analysis has its place. But I’m not re-entering therapy with the intention of cracking the code of why-I-am-the-way-I-am. I’d like, however, to discover more of who I am, and practice less critical self-analysis. Instead of asking “why” all the time, I can shift toward asking “what” questions.
What am I afraid to look at in myself right now? What do I really feel about _____ ? What is most important to me about this next chapter of my life? What have I been neglecting? What do I want?
May you all grow in self-knowledge this week,
Maggie
From this article, What is Self-Knowledge in Psychology?
Interesting thoughts how awareness can lead to knowledge of self. It’s wonderful that you let yourself be OK with going back to therapy and good luck with finding one that you do mesh with is that is so important.